The Best Way to Give Condolences

By: admin
Monday, May 6, 2019

During funerals at funeral homes in Mount Vernon, WA, one of the things that mourners do, in addition to paying their respects to the deceased, is to offer words of encouragement and support to the bereaved family. But it can be difficult to know exactly what to say to help the family out. Here are a few guidelines. 

Don’t make your condolences about you. Too often, well-meaning people will say they are sorry for the family’s loss and then go on to tell them about their own losses in life. This ends up sounding like a therapy session for the people offering condolences rather than the offer of a helping hand if the family needs it.  

Never make, “I know how you feel,” even if you’ve experienced a similar loss, part of your condolences to a grieving family. You’re not them and you don’t know exactly how each one of them feels. Saying this comes off as dismissive and insensitive, even though that’s the opposite of what you intend. 

What should you say? 

Let the family know that you are there for them in tangible terms. Don’t say, “I’m here if you need me.” The reality is that they do need you, but they don’t know how yet. Instead, tell them when you’ll stop by on a particular day with dinner or to take care of the lawn or to bring groceries. Then make sure that you do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. You may see other opportunities to help them when you do the first thing you promised. 

Another thing that you can say is that you’re available to listen anytime they want or need to talk. Listening has become a lost art in our society, but it is the greatest gift we can give somebody else. A grieving family is not looking for you to have all the answers or to solve all their problems. Instead, they just want to know that somebody hears them, and talking is often a great vehicle for problem-solving for many people. 

Acknowledge the death of a bereaved family’s loved one and express your own sadness for their loss. All too often, we forget to tell grieving families how much the person who died meant to us, which can make them feel as though they are the only ones who are sorrowful that they’re gone. 

One of the best ways to convey your condolences to a grieving family is by sharing good and happy memories of their loved ones with them. They might be memories that you were a part of, or they might be memories that someone else told you about their loved. This can be deeply comforting to the family to hear all these great stories about their loved one. And some of the stories you tell them may be new to them, which will give them a more expansive perspective and understanding of their loved one than they had before. And sharing happy and good memories with a bereaved family underscores how much the person they lost was loved and cherished. 

For additional information about giving condolences at funeral homes in Mount Vernon, WA, our compassionate and experienced team at Moles Farewell Tributes & Cremations – Bayview Chapel is here to help. You can visit our funeral home at 2465 Lakeway Dr., Bellingham, WA 98229 or you can call us today at (360) 733-0510.  

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Interesting Facts about Funeral Directors

Funeral directors run funeral homes in Bellingham, WA. They are professional and competent, providing service, comfort, and help to everyone who walks through their doors. But there are things that...

How Death Affects Real Estate

Many cremation services are offered in Mount Vernon, WA, but helping sell a house or business property that is situated next to a cemetery is something better left to real estate professionals. Whi...

Online Obituaries

Before funerals at funeral homes in Mount Vernon, WA, one of the first things that you will need to take care of is writing an obituary for your loved one who has died. In the past, obituaries were...

Cremation Remains are Not Just for Scattering

One of the cremation services offered in Ferndale, WA is helping family members decide what to do with the cremation remains – cremains – of their loved one. While scattering some of them in a plac...

Funeral Questions and Answers

People often have questions about funerals at funeral homes in Ferndale, WA if they have never been to a funeral or a visitation. This guide should help everyone who is planning a funeral for the f...

What Would You Write in Your Obituary?

With cremations in Bellingham, WA, one of the things that will need to be done is to have an obituary written, either to be posted only on the funeral home’s website or to be posted and published i...

Helping a Loved One Through Grief

After funerals at funeral homes in Bellingham, WA, you want to be there to help someone you love and care about through the grieving process, offering support, comfort, and encouragement. There are...

Ways in Which Grief Counseling Helps | Cremations

Considering grief counseling after cremations in Burlington, WA may be one of the healthiest steps you can take after you’ve lost someone you love. Many funeral homes offer grief support groups as ...

What Do Funeral Directors Do?

Knowing what funeral directors do at funeral homes in Mount Vernon, WA can help you have complete confidence in their ability to take care of your needs when you lose a loved one.  One thing ...

A Guide to Funeral Services Terminology

Lynden, WA funeral services include a lexicon of words and terms that most of us don’t use in our daily lives and that we may not know the meaning of. Understanding them will make it easier for us ...